Mary's Journey

ML has had a very rough couple of weeks.  She continues to have breathing problems but it was a lot worse.  She was put in ICU on Christmas Eve because her Oxygen Saturation levels were not stable at all.  She needed increasingly higher concentrations of oxygen.  The doctors started her on chemo and antibiotics because they weren't sure what was causing the oxygen exchange problems.  It turns out they guessed right.  Christmas Day, she was showing marked improvement.  I think the power of prayer had something to do with that.

The doctors weren't even sure if ML would leave the hospital and now 1 week later they are saying she may be able to go home Friday, two weeks after she was admitted.  She will go home with oxygen, but the fact that she is stable enough and is on low enough concentration to survive at home is a miracle.

A New Journey

Dr. Kolstad suggested that I try bicycling as part of my activity program.  Today Mark and I bought new bikes.  We rode for about 20 minutes - 3.4 miles as a start.  Dr. Kolstad even suggested that I consider the MS 150.  Since BP sponsors a team, it is something to consider.  I'm going to check it out.

Good News

I did have a little good news today.  I have officially lost 75 pounds on my weight loss journey.  It has taken me 3 months to lose the last 5 pounds, but I have done it.  Now the question is will it still be off in 2 weeks when I go back to work and weigh in again the next time.

Even More Scared

ML has been in the hospital all weekend because her O2 levels were low.  She seemed to be doing better after being hospitalized and put on oxygen.  David said tonight they had to double the flow to 6 liters.  She has had a bunch of tests and have ruled out the obvious - pneumonia, growing lesions, blood clots.  They are talking about doing a lung biopsy tomorrow.  That's what is sounding so scary.

Poor Audrey is probably not going to have much of a Christmas this year.  Fortunately, she is probably at a young enough age that she will have fun whatever happens.  Dan and Jean have offered to take her and do the Santa thing for her.  Poor ML and David to be going through this right at Christmastime.  It's bad enough that they are having to go through this, but to have to go through this at Christmas must be doubly hard.  I just hope this isn't ML's last Christmas.

I'm Scared

Talking to ML last night scared me.  The steroids have caused her breathing problems - she gets out of breath easily.  She sounded really weak last night.  The radiation has caused her blood counts to be really low.  Because of the low white blood count, the doctor doesn't want her traveling.  ML offered to have us for Christmas, but I could tell her heart wasn't really in it.  I just kept having the feeling that this is a premonition of things to come soon.

We decided after much discussion between Mom, David, Kathy and myself that we wouldn't go to Atlanta after all.  I'm really sorry that we won't see ML, David and Audrey, but I don't think we would have enjoyed our visit because ML would not have enjoyed our visit.

A good point - Glenn called Mom and invited us to Marble Falls for Christmas, so at least we have some place to go and celebrate with family and it won't just be Mom, Mark and I.  So at least it will seem like a holiday, although it will not be a typical Christmas for us.

The other thing that scared me is the pain I had in my knee today.  I could hardly walk this morning.  It was as bad if not worse than right before my surgery.  I finally was able to work through it by the time PT was over today, but we had to take it a little easy during PT.  I'm really afraid that my knee isn't ever going to come completely back where I can walk without pain.

The strange thing is one of the engineers at work put out an e-mail encouraging more women to participate in the MS-150.  I had been thinking about getting my bike out of storage and start riding some, but my bike was destroyed in a freak accident last weekend at the storage facility.  So now I don't know - was the e-mail a sign that maybe I should start riding or was the fact my bike was destroyed a sign not to even think about it.  I don't know.  The stationary bike doesn't bother the knee nearly as much as walking, but I really don't know if the rest of my body can take it, especially the backside.

Two Good Days

I have had 2 good days of staying OP, getting in exercise, and best of all, I'm back to my pre-Thanksgiving weight.  I'm hoping that next week I will have another loss, which will put me in new territory.  I really would like to be at -75 pounds by the time I go back to work in January.

I have been on the treadmill both yesterday and today.  The knee is slowly coming around.  I'm doing reverse splits, starting out slower and gradually picking up the pace as I go.  The IT band hurts tonight, but it started hurting this afternoon hauling boxes of food around as we were organizing the groceries for our Christmas family.  I have so many bruises along the IT band, I'm not sure what it's supposed to feel like anymore.  The IT band release massage sure has helped, but it's painful and is what is leaving the bruises.

A Day of Sadness and Remembrance

Today has been worse for me today than yesterday.  First I told the bell choir of ML's magic story and almost lost it then, then told it to Harold Travis and almost lost it when talking to him.  But I did lose it during the church service.  Towards the end, the hymn was "O Come All Ye Faithful."  We had brass and tympani along with the choir and congregation.  I don't know if it was just the emotion of the moment or a quick flashback of going to a Candlelight Service with Mom and Dad or what, but all of a sudden I was overcome with emotion.

Also, during church today, I was thinking about Mary and what it would be like with her around and that hasn't helped.